When death comes....

JK Rowling says, “To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.”

Since childhood, my routine has always been more or less planned, since both my parents used to work. Getting up at the same time everyday and sparing a fixed number of minutes for brushing, pooping, bathing, and having breakfast; these were things that I grew up seeing and doing. When I started working, which was almost six years ago, my mornings were full of such tight deadlines. Even a five-minute delay in waking up would make my mornings a running spree from my home till the railway station. Mumbai railways made me realize the importance of odd timings such as 7:38 am and 5:01 pm, as I would commute in trains that would come to the station at these weird timings.

Back at work, I realized the importance of every minute when I ran to swipe my ID card just before the clock struck 9 in the mornings. Even a minute’s delay would mean we were late for our shift, and it would reflect in our appraisals. At work, taking a couple of minutes more than what was allotted for sending an email would automatically delay the next deadline. I learnt to manage every second of my life while working with my first long term employer. In fact, at a point, I was managed by the clock. I used to feel guilty for sleeping for those extra 10 minutes or spending 5 minutes extra while getting ready or having breakfast.

With my current employer, life was governed by early morning alarms and marathon runs to the auto stand for a seat till the station. Again, if I reached just before my train arrived, I would get no place to sit in the train. So ideally, I would reach the station much before time. For the past 8 years, I have lived most of my life outside my home, travelling for at least 4 hours daily on an average.

So, I have a planned life, yes. At work, all my tasks for the day are documented in my diary and Inbox. Colored pens regularly highlight the tasks as and when they are done. Pending tasks are flagged or shifted to the next day. On the home front, I plan buying groceries on Sundays. My maid is carefully instructed on what to cook and clean without wasting either of our time. She gets veggies for me the day I cannot buy them. Laundry, mopping, sweeping, and everything else happens as per plans that I make.  

I am proud of the life that I lead. It is disciplined and well-spaced out. But today when I read the quote above, I was wondering if my daily schedule has a slot for death. In that case, how many of us account for this one incident? One of my friends always says, “I have no regrets if I die tomorrow. I have seen it all and done with everything.” I wish I could say the same about myself.

Apart from the planned activities, there is noting that I do in life. I have forgotten when was the last time I did something that I like. Sometimes, I can’t remember what I like. The "work-office-work" syndrome has effaced other things from my life. At some point in life, I would spend weekends reading and adorning my dupattas with beads and sequins. I would read many anthologies and copy interesting stuff for personal record. I would maintain a dairy. I would listen to music.

After getting into a relationship and consequently getting married, all my spare time is spent in cooking, cleaning, and buying monthly groceries. The rest of the time is spent with my spouse, where we discuss the things that we like to do and the dreams that are yet unaccomplished. We make plans to achieve our unattained goals. At every new discussion and dream planning, new dreams pile on the older ones. We have this mountain of dreams in front of us. And we are sure that one day we will accomplish it all.

Ms. Rowling today made me wonder if I am ready for what she calls “next great adventure.” I then realized that my "well-organized mind" has never accommodated the period to my life. If I die now, I will have a zillion things pending. Further education, quilling, photography, learning dance, learning to ride a bike, starting my own business, buying a house, starting a family, having a pet, going on a holiday.....

...The list goes on and on. And freaks me out. What the hell have I done in the last 30 years? Just wake up to the alarm and auto-pilot myself? Hell Yeah. I am sure if I die now, I am going to a perfect subject for Ram Gopal Verma’s next horror movie. I will keep appearing in front of people whom I haven’t  met for long. I will keep scaring people at places where I wanted to go or at universities where I wanted to study. I will keep clinging to things that I loved, but never enjoyed. I will, in short, never be free from worldly pleasures.

Despite such an enlightening revelation, I don’t find myself panicking to make a new beginning. My mind tells me, “JK Rowling is rich and famous. She probably does not have to buy groceries or supervise the maid. So stop dreaming about what will happen to your unaccomplished tasks if you die now. If you have not added “death” to your list of tasks, then it is definitely not happening till you add it.”

Point noted Mr. Mind! :)